I'm Isabelle and I am psychologist.

The author reveals herself

Your four favorite ice cream flavors...?

Lemon, blackcurrant, pistachio, coffee and... violet! What, that makes five? Haha! So you know two more things about me: I have my own unique relationship with numbers, and I always think outside the box!

Did you write passages thinking of someone who doesn't know it?

I was alone facing my pages, but filled with all those I met and who participated in my evolution. Some are cited openly, others are hinted at, not all know it... yet!

A film character you identify with?

Without hesitation, I would say Claire Fraser, from Outlander. Claire is a traveler: she navigates between two eras, but also between two worlds, one of which is imbued with magic, the other rooted in science. She is a committed woman, both socially, medically, and romantically. She is as wise as she is cheeky, strong and sensitive. Her compass is her heart, whatever happens..

How long did it take you to write it?

I started writing this book in 2021, if my memory serves me right. And what's funny is that at first, I wanted to make it a film, of which I've kept a few scenes. The problem is that I had so much to say that it seemed simpler to transcribe my experience by putting it on paper.

I didn't write this book in one go. I started it, dropped it for months, partially picked it up a good dozen times, and finally, I wrote it at the same time as I wrote myself. Because, even if the story told in this book had been behind me for several years, the way I looked at it was still under construction, and it needed to mature.

Impossible to go faster than the music!

Can you say that writing this book has been therapeutic for you?

If by "therapeutic" you mean moving from one thought to another, from one emotion to another, then from one behavior to another, until you find balance, then yes, this book has been therapeutic!

Where do you prefer to write?

It all depends on what I'm writing: if it's introspective, I like to sit in the middle of nature, by the water or on the terrace of a nice café. On the other hand, when I work on more analytical or theoretical themes, I prefer to be in my cocoon.

A quote you particularly like?

The quote that accompanied me throughout my quest for freedom comes from an author named Paulo Amaro: "Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself." I find it extremely clever. It was with this phrase in mind that I moved away from the house, fear in my stomach and GPS in hand, with only one goal: to one day be able to drive to the sea to eat a delicious sugar waffle.

Why did you write this book?

I wrote this book for all those who, like me a few years earlier, find themselves confronted with a Post-Traumatic Stress State (PTSD) and its two main consequences: anxiety and dissociation. My goal is that everyone understands that, even if the situation may seem complex, the solutions are often simple and accessible. Here, the solution that I propose to you to explore is called: feel.

Through this autobiographical account, I also seek to avoid a maximum of "road exits". What I mean by that is that PTSD pushes us to withdraw from life in different ways: anxiety isolates us to protect us, dissociation takes us away from our sensations so that we no longer feel, and when all escape routes seem blocked, some come to think that the only option to find peace is attempted suicide. To these I would like to say that you are in the right place, and that I have never found my solution as quickly as after touching the end of the end! I like to compare this to a jump in a swimming pool: it is when we touch the bottom that we can take the momentum needed to go back up. I believe that peace belongs to all of us without exception, and my wish is that adventure reminds everyone of the strength of their own potential.

Did songs mark your adventure?

Yes, there was Una Mattina by Ludovico Einaudi, inseparable from the decision to live in the house of the Stars; Si tu crois que cette nuit by Zoufris Maracas, a music that celebrates life; and also Ide Were by Deva Premal, which accompanied my first steps as a chippendales! ^^ For those who have read the book, we understood each other; for others, impossible to spoil you on this subject!

Do you have any advice to give to those who will read your book soon?

You can read it chronologically, like a story. What is pleasant is that the chapters are short and often linked to an awareness indicated under the title, which means that, even if you have little time, one page may be enough to move forward!

But what I encourage all those who read me is to open their own exploration notebook... I will say a little more in SOIS LIBRE Je t’aime, the podcast.

"Anxiety cannot exist in a body allowed to feel" Blosse